...apparently produces cocktails

Run by a 17yr beverage vet who's 'tended at Salt House and Foreign Cinema, Iron & Gold is a just-opened throwback tavern on the Bernal Heights/Mission District border, offering up stiff drinks in a den outfitted with salvaged wood panels, forest green walls, and low lights, because only a Goofus would install Highlights.

Liver-strokers will be mixed at an 11-stool bar equipped with mining lamps and vintage registers, which they'll use to ring up any of nine signatures including the Red Hook (Rye, Punt e Mes, maraschino, bitters), the St. Marks (bourbon, elderflower, lemon), and the plum sake & orange liqueur Cougars, so go to Town!

What's that you say? You like beer? Well then get the confidence to speak louder by checking out their five local drafts (Speakeasy White Lightning, Trumer, Racer 5, Humming Ale, and Anchor Steam) -- all of which'll run you just $3 during their 'til-9p daily Happy Hour -- as well as 14 bottled brews, Olympia cans, and Old Speckled Hen tall boys.

Oh, and if you get there early you might just be able to claim the big-normous, hand-built communal up front for yourself and five friends, though if you got that reference up top about a dated, for-children comic book, that may not be necessary.