New look, same awesome

Proving not every 305-dwelling bird goes under the knife before they hit 35, 40yr-old landmark The Rusty Pelican just reopened after a five-month, $7mil facelift that converted its still-extremely-waterside digs into what looks like a Key West-beach-house-meets-country-club, with a labyrinth of glassed-in wine bottles separating the dining room from a 200-person indoor/outdoor lounge with low-slung couches, in addition to an expansive upstairs terrace.

The menu’s similarly overhauled thanks to new exec chef Michael Gilligan (formerly of the SS Minnow Solea), and kicks off with small plates like coconut shrimp with “cotton candy,” pork belly skewers w/ caramelized apples & blood orange reduction, and lobster crudo w/ piquillo peppers & key lime dressing, vandalism performed by the crazy ex of the guy who owns lime dressing, because he doesn’t have a car.

Meanwhile, not-so-small plates include everything from a soy-/honey-sauced, crispy-fried, whole local red snapper with Udon noodles, to a full lineup of steaks and lobster tails, to a phyllo pastry/ sweet potato puree/ mint jus-covered, duck fat-fried lamb loin from Australia, which you should expect to mercilessly belittle your knife.

Because anyone just out of plastic surgery needs a drink, the revamped menu's packing 1500 vinos, a few microbrews (Avery White Rascal, Dogfish 60min), and locally named cocktails like the Biscayne Julep, the rum-packed Virginia Key Punch, and the tequila/ Sriracha/ lime/ watermelon/ ginger Rusty Spice, which applies to any of the Girls at this point, despite them starting their surgeries at like 19.