You'd better hit a real one before you come here

Proving they’re good for more than just ruining the economy by giving unemployed people in Missouri chateau-loans is The Bank, an 8000sqft four-room stunner in the historic old Meyer-Kiser Building, which gets all Sinatra-meets-Roaring-'20s (ornate columns, red velvet antique furniture, paintings of Al Capone) with a touch of today’s Miami (club-tastic lighting, mod bottle-service tables), while awesomely transforming the original bank vault into a VIP room, meaning it’s still pretty tough to crack.

Vaguely on-theme cocktails run from the Capone Negroni (vodka/sweet vermouth/grapefruit bitters), to the Black Manhattan with Crown Black, Harlem Kruiden Liqueur, and orange bitters, to the rum/St Germain/honey/mint leaf/Chandon Brut “Ode de Blume”, which presumably goes “Judy, thank you so much for keeping my sister occupied with your books so she wouldn’t turn off Airwolf”.

But because a man can only consume so many drinks named after the author of Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret. (ahhh, it deals with girl-puberty problems!), they've also got an attentive bar staff to "pamper and spoil" you with a heavy bottle lineup including a slew of Scotches like Buchanan's 12yr and Johnnie Blue, plus Cognacs including Hennessy VSOP and Remy Martin.

Boldly ditching that big band music the flappers just go wild for, they’re spinning mainly house on Fridays while keeping Saturdays open-format, and bringing in ones-and-twosers like DJ Obscene and Sub Zero, who’ll remind you of the banks of five years ago, who said “GET OVER HERE!!!...because we’d love to give you a high-interest loan for that tasteful manse”.