Lose bland duds for this stuff

Ditch the dress doldrums by picking up some "rare and exclusive" duds from Brooklyn-based Serum Versus Venom's just-launched web shop, stocked with ultra-limited, hand-constructed goods all meticulously designed with the goal of helping wearers "achieve hyper-individuality", usually only possible by eating tons of Pixy Stix and scanning your fingerprint over and over and over and over and...

Outer Layers: Include a pink-gingham-silk-lined waxed cotton hoodie, multi-pocketed trenches in various plaids, and a black British Millerain moto jacket w/ a camo waistband, so nobody will notice you're artificially slimming yourself?

Accessories: The current drop comprises two geometric-patterned B&W cashmere scarves, and a trio of necklaces strung with hand-carved, brass-cast pendants in the shapes of American-, British-, and French-style scissors, the latter of which must barely work.

Tops: Button-downs come in two styles (w/ either two standard chest pockets or one zippered one) in fabrics like Irish linen, chambray, and flannel, while patchwork crewneck sweatshirts come in a variety of abstract geometric patterns they're calling "fractured", also the state of the very expensive fingerprint scanner after you've frantically thumbed it over and over and over and...