Crazy balls, crazy sauces

Surprisingly not a super-popular gym located just off the LIE, the Meatball Factory's a 1600sqft ball-eteria coming at you from OG Top Chef alum Dave Martin. The set up's like a rustic, industrial (rustdustrial?) bistro thanks to red brick walls, wine barrels aplenty, dark wood tables flanking the central bar, and a to-go counter, because you're going to need a snack on your way to working off all those meatballs at a gym just off the LIE

The main attraction's the house-ground gourmet meat marbles, which the chef toiled on endlessly before arriving at the exact right ratio for next-level, prime-sourced flavors including braised pork, short rib, chorizo, and a turducken so delicious the lines for it are sure to be Maddening

After selecting your brand of spherical sustenance, your next Sisyphean task is choosing what to plate them on -- housemade pastas including tagliatelle and cannelloni, a challah roll, cracker bread pizza, or, most awesomely, poutine -- and your sauce, whether truffle cream, sweet & fiery agave, or green curry peanut, which takes offense that someone who eats truffle cream-covered meatballs would call it chunky

Quaffs run both grape and grain, with an appropriately reasonable wine program (no bottle over $40) abutting 18 taps/20 bottles of craft suds including Sixpoint Bengali IPA, Breckenridge Vanilla Porter, and Abita Amber, surprisingly not a super-popular setting on the tanning beds at that gym just off the LIE.