Your wallet will now open your beer for you

Have you ever looked at your wallet and said, "Hey, I really wish this could open a beer bottle"? Have you ever looked at your bottle opener and said, "Hey, I really wish this was also jammed full of money and credit cards with high limits"? Well, in either case, you're in luck, because here comes the Brew Clip

After at least weeks of research, some mad scientist in Portland who probably drinks a lot of obscure craft beer you've never heard of has created "the Swiss Army Knife of wallets", and put it on Kickstarter. But instead of those ridiculous little scissors, it offers a stainless steel bottle opener that slides out of a thin casing that also holds a clip for cash, cards, and condoms you want everyone to know you're carrying, because you bang people.

Here's the cool schematic from which the "Manhattan Project of pocket-sized proportions" was born

And perhaps the best part: while a standard Brew Clip is just $49-$59, for the low, low donation price of $3,000, in addition to three Clips, you can score "an unforgettable helicopter ride around the city of Portland", plus a trip to "an amazing restaurant for a five-course dinner". Given that it's taking place in Portland, this may be the actual helicopter above.